Relationships · Understanding Codependency, part 2 of 9 · 27 September 2026 · Charlotte Himsworth
Where the Word Came From
From the families of people with addiction to a household word, and the debate that followed.
The idea behind codependency began with a simple realisation: addiction affects not only the person who drinks or uses, but everyone who loves them. Long before the word existed, the families of people with alcohol problems were finding each other for support. Al-Anon, founded in the early 1950s, grew from exactly that need.
From “co-alcoholic” to codependent
In treatment centres of the 1970s, family members were sometimes described as “co-alcoholic”. As alcohol and other drugs came to be grouped together as “chemical dependency”, the term gradually became “co-dependent”, most likely in Minnesota in the late 1970s.
The 1980s
In 1986 three things happened. Psychiatrist Timmen Cermak argued that co-dependence should be recognised as a personality disorder. Melody Beattie published Codependent No More, which went on to sell millions of copies. And Co-Dependents Anonymous, a twelve-step fellowship, held its first meeting. The word moved from treatment centres into everyday language.
A broadening, and a debate
Over time the word came to describe many relationship patterns, not only those around addiction. That breadth has been both its strength and its weakness. Critics, including feminist scholars, have argued that it can pathologise ordinary caring, blame people for understandable responses to difficult situations, and turn complex realities into a simple label. Others find the concept gives meaning to their experience and a path forward.
Both views hold truth. We use the word in this series with care: as a helpful description, never as a diagnosis or a judgement.
Why history matters
Knowing where the word came from reminds us that these patterns usually grow from love and survival, often in very hard circumstances. They are not character flaws.
A practice
Ask: “Where did I learn that my role was to look after others?” Write down the first memory that comes, and treat that younger self with compassion.
This article is for reflection and education, not a substitute for professional support. If it brings up difficult feelings, please be gentle with yourself; part nine lists places to turn in the UK, including Samaritans on 116 123, any time.