Relationships · Understanding Codependency, part 8 of 9 · 3 October 2026 · Charlotte Himsworth
Codependency Through the Hermetic Lens
The seven principles offer a gentle map for returning to yourself.
The Hermetic principles that run through all of our work offer a surprisingly tender way to understand codependent patterns, and to change them.
Mentalism: the image we hold
Codependent patterns often rest on a quiet belief: “My worth depends on being needed.” The Principle of Mentalism invites us to examine that thought, and gradually choose another: “I am worthy, whether or not I am useful.”
Correspondence: the mirror
Our outer relationships often mirror our inner relationship with ourselves. As we learn to treat our own needs with respect, the people around us often begin to treat them with respect too.
Polarity: from self-abandonment to self-care
Self-abandonment and self-care sit on the same line. We do not need to leap to the other end. We move degree by degree: one honest feeling, one small boundary, one hour of rest.
Rhythm: patience with setbacks
Old patterns return, especially under stress. The Principle of Rhythm reminds us that this is part of the cycle, not proof of failure. Each return is a chance to practise again.
Cause and Effect: becoming the cause
Codependency often leaves us reacting to others’ moods and choices. Recovery means gently becoming the cause in our own lives: choosing how we spend our time, energy and care.
Gender: giving and receiving
Many codependent patterns are all giving and no receiving. The Principle of Gender teaches that we need both the active and the receptive. Learning to receive help, rest and kindness is part of the work.
Know thyself
Above all, recovery is a return to the words at Delphi. Who are you, beneath the roles you play for others? What do you feel, need and love? These are not selfish questions. They are the beginning of a whole life.
A practice
Write: “If my worth did not depend on being needed, I would…” and finish the sentence five different ways.
This article is for reflection and education, not a substitute for professional support. If it brings up difficult feelings, please be gentle with yourself; part nine lists places to turn in the UK, including Samaritans on 116 123, any time.